Pirates of Petroleum


PUBLISHED: NOVEMBER 21, 2008

Somewhere in the Gulf of Aden I imagine a Somali pirate singing to his merry men: For I am a Pirate King / And it is a glorious thing / To be a Pirate King. And, as they prepare to loot another foreign tanker, the men sing with great gusto, Hurrah!

News from the far off Somalian coast conjures images from The Pirates of Penzance, Peter Pan, or perhaps Johnny Depp channeling 60's pirate Keith Richards.

As bad guys go, these modern day marauders seem to have great public relations savvy. Or, as the Pirate King might proclaim to his crew:

Pour, O pour the pirate sherry;
Fill, O fill the pirate glass;
And, to make us more than merry,
Let no Saudi tankers pass.

O'er the wild seas we shall charge,
With our pistols, knives and shields;
And, we'll capture ships just as large,
As three or four football fields.

We'll not plunder silver or gold,
On the oceans where we may toil;
Nay, a better image to mold,
Will come from our theft of oil.

If the loot be guns or food,
And not petrol in drum or can;
We'll only board ere we conclude,
That it's headed for Iran.

Media still imagine us,
With hooks of steel instead of fists;
We'll avoid a global fuss,
If they don't call us terrorists.

For I am a Pirate King!
And it is, it is a glorious thing;
To plunder by day with my men,
Then watch it all on C-N-N.

© Peter Funt.





Index of Previous Columns